giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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