Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize
