I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
