Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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