its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
