How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
