evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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