so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
