You're so nebulous sometimes
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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