Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
