Please, let me fuck your mom
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
