it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
A bitchslap is in order.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
