she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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