I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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