just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I believe in your delicious
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
