So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
