ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
