It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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