I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
