he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
