Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
