I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize