Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
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