I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
