I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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