you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
