Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
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I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
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i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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