dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
