mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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