I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
