Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Soap is not a condiment
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
