You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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