You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
