ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
