it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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