The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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