I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
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