If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
