She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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