How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
