this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
