when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
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He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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