I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
