I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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