He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
