Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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