my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
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