seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
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Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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