So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
