guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
