this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
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he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
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We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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