She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
