New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
