don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
