So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
