Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
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I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
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So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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