Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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