Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i think i just lost a toe
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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