4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
