We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
