Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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