I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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