ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
