he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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