What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
