She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
