3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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